


The first and last smile he could never see

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 21:07:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13555602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's there mocking me.Name: Clara OswaldGender: FemaleAge: N/AHeight: 157Heart rate: N/ATemperature: N/AShe's right in front of me but I will never be able to see her.





	The first and last smile he could never see

**Author's Note:**

  * For [infiniteregress17 (infinite_regress)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinite_regress/gifts).



I switch on human_File_Display and it's there. 

It's there mocking me.

Name: Clara Oswald  
Gender: Female  
Age: N/A  
Height: 157cm  
Heart rate: N/A  
Temperature: N/A

Clara Oswald is sitting right there, pretending to sip lemonade while I tell her the Story of why we had to part.

She's right in front of me but. But. But I will never be able to see her. I can't remember her and know I cannot replace those blury images with her eyes, the eyes I used to think about over and over again. I will never discover why my heart strings are tugging while I stare at the human figure that is covered with meaningless letters.

Of course I loved-love her my feelings will always be there. My hearts still beat out of rhythm when she's talking to me. 

When I forgot her my hearts crumbled into pieces and then combined to make a giant black hole in my chest that is threatening to destroy the memories I managed to clutch on to.

"Are you looking for her?" Clara asked.

I've already found her. "I'm trying."

"She could be anyone, right? You don't know who you're looking for. I mean, she could be me, for all you know."

Oh, Clara. Why do you make me feel like lying to you is wrong, were both doing the same thing. Which should be expected hybrid and all that. But stop making it so hard to let you go. "There's one thing I know about her. Just one thing. If I met her again, I would absolutely know." I look desperately at where I think her eyes are.

"What about your Tardis, hey? Have you found that yet?" She didn't take my hint. That I know who she is. Well a vague idea on who she is.

"No. Somebody's moved it from London. I'm still looking. But this diner. It wasn't always here, was it? It used to be on the other side of the hill." I replied. Knowing her. Well I don't even know myself anymore. Never mind Clara Oswald, but who really 'knows' Clara Oswald certainly not me. Well not anymore.

"Well, maybe someone will find your TARDIS for you." Yeah, Clara. I sure you know where it is, as you put her there.

I can't bear to talk anymore so I sling my guitar to the front of my body and set my sonic sunglasses to guitar_mode, disabling Human_File_Display in the process. I try and think things over while strumming a few chords. And try to Imprint her voice into my head so I will always remember something, anything, about her.

I was broke from my thinking trance by Clara saying "What Clara told you in the Cloisters." She seemed to hesitate. But my head shot up and looked at where the voice was from. I have no, Name: Clara Oswald, where she is standing. So I can only guess to where she would be.

"I don't remember a single thing about it." Which is the only thing I've said, excluding the hybrid story, that is true

"You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become songs." She tried to give me a hint as well. I wish I could put my arms around her and just endlessly hold her. But I will never hold her again. I had to turn away from her. Even though I cannot see her, I can feel her watching me, seeing what my reaction will be. 

"That would be nice." I almost whisper this. Is she hinting the song I'm playing now is connected to her. I just played whatever came into my mind, it was random. Wasn't it?

"Yeah, it would be, wouldn't it?" Those words rang in my ears. They felt like final words. A goodbye.

I hear a door open. And a smile invades my mind. A beautiful smile with heart melting huge brown eyes. That I associate with love, warmth, kindness and Clara. My Clara.

Then a door closed, snapping the image out of my mind but it was to late. Nobody will ever take the image away from me. I will forever remember her smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. The title is from Clara's point of view and is the only thing that is. Please tell me what you thought by leaving a comment.


End file.
